Dear Harper, With Love
by MissToastie
Summary: A Christmas one shot inspired from my story 'Baby Hold On.' You will need to have read 'Baby Hold On' to understand what the characters have gone through, and are still going through. Otherwise it'll be kinda pointless to read this.


_Hey kids,_

_I'm really slack with updating, I know. Life's cray and hard to handle. I'll get there, eventually._

_**This is a one shot inspired by 'Baby Hold On' (written by myself, of course.). If you haven't read that story, then you really should read that before reading this story, because you really need to get the feel of what the characters have been through and what they are still going through. **_

_Keep in mind Ainsley's letter is written by a 5/6 year old, so it's a little over the place. _

_But then again, I haven't had it beta'd...so it's probably all over the place anyway :/_

_- MT._

* * *

**Dear Harper, with love. **

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, every Rizzoli-Isles was awake - even Ainsley's pet mouse!

"I can not believe you agreed with your mother to allow her to buy Ains a pet mouse for Christmas!" Doctor Maura Rizzoli-Isles spoke through gritted teeth as she and her wife prepared Christmas Eve dinner.

"Maura, it's not like Macie was picked up out of the sewer; she is a trained pet. I made sure I read all about mice before we picked one out." Jane watched as Maura rolled her eyes - a trait that had unfortunately rubbed off too well for Jane's liking. "Plus, look how happy Ainsley is with her."

Maura couldn't argue there, their young daughter looked beyond happy with her new little grey friend.

"But what will her fellow school friends think?"

"Gee, I don't know Maura!" Jane turned and placed a now empty container in the sink. "Maybe having a pet mouse won't be as weird as having a pet turtle."

"I'm not even giving you the satisfaction of correcting you on the correct species of Bass." The honey blonde rolled her jumper sleeves down and walked to join her family in the lounge room.

"Janie," Angela Rizzoli bellowed from the lounge where she sat with her boyfriend Sean Cavanaugh, and their grandsons TJ and Hudson all cuddled up under a blanket. "Come join Maura, Ainsley has something special she would like to read to everyone." Angela winked at her only granddaughter who stood nervously in front of the fire place with a happily sleeping Macie mouse in the hood of her jumper.

Watching as Jane wiped her hands on a tea towel before joining Maura on the lounge, Ainsley took a deep breath and looked down at the big piece of paper she held in her tiny hands.

"Go on baby." Jane encourage her almost 6 year old.

"To my baby brother, Harper Fenway Rizzoli-Isles," Ainsley cleared her throat and concentrated on her letter. "To my little brother who I miss lots. I never got to meet you, but our mommies tell me you were really, really brave. I wish I got to see you, and cuddle you, and I wish you lived so we could play. We could play with uncle Tommy and uncle Frankie too. And we have a little cousin TJ to play with as well. Our baby brother Hudson is a bit too little to play with yet but he does try,

I wish you were here in person, but I know you watch over us all the time like at family dinners, and Red Sox games, and really you're here all the time. If I could, I would ask Santa Claus to bring you to our mommies arms cause they miss you the most. Love your sister Ainsley Grace Rizzoli-Isles."

Maura wiped the tears from her eyes while showing off a proud grin. Everyone in the room had tears in their eyes as they gave Ainsley a round of applause. TJ and Hudson joined in too, even though they no idea of what was going on - they knew clapping was always an exciting thing for them to do!

"I'm so proud of you, bugga-boo!" Maura scooped her daughter into her arms and kissed the top of her head. "Let's go eat dinner."

* * *

With Hudson fast asleep in his cot, and all family members returned to their own homes, Maura finished cleaning downstairs while Jane took her turn in putting Ainsley to bed.

"Did you like my letter, Mama?" Ainsley asked as she crawled into her bed and snuggled down low.

"I think it was the most beautiful story I have ever heard." Jane smiled sincerely as she tucked her daughter into bed. She leaned down and kissed the nose of the smiling little girl. "You still wanna sing what you chose this morning?"

Ainsley nodded with enthusiasm. While she loved story time with her Mama M, soft sing-alongs with her Mama J were always a happy way to end the day.

"Okay," Jane held up three fingers. "Three, two, one."

"Rudolph the red nosed reindeer,

had a very shiny nose.

And if you ever saw him,

you would even say it glows."

Mother and daughter softly sang a long.

"All of the other reindeer

used to laugh and call him names.

They never let poor Rudolph

join in any reindeer games."

Ainsley's eyes became a little too heavy as she closed them gently and began to listen to her mother's sweet voice singing her favourite Christmas carol.

"Then one foggy Christmas Eve,

Santa came to say:

"Rudolph with your nose so bright,

won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" "

With her daughter fast asleep, Jane lowered her voice as she continued with the rest of the song.

"Then all the reindeer loved him,

as they shouted out with glee,

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,

you'll go down in history!" "

Turning the bedside lamp off, Jane leaned down and kissed Ainsley's forehead before whispering "Good night, my girl." and exiting the bedroom.

* * *

Walking down stairs, Jane looked over to the beautifully decorated Christmas tree where the love of her life stood in front of with her arms wrapped around herself.

"Out like a light." Jane announced, scaring her wife from her deep thoughts. The brunette smiled a sympathetic smile before standing behind Maura and wrapping her arms around the slender body that she knew like the back of her hand.

Settling back into her wife's arms, she leaned her head onto Jane's shoulder. "Her letter was incredible, your mother said she wrote it all by herself."

"She has a beautiful soul," Jane hummed and stared at the families favourite Christmas bauble that hung proudly on the tree; a red bauble with 'Harper' written in glittery-gold. "I never thought I'd have a favourite Christmas tree decoration."

"Neither did, I."

"I miss him so much, Maur," Tears found their way to Jane's eyes. "I miss him every damn day." Jane clenched her eyes shut, and continued as Maura squeezed her hand. "I wish we could see him playing with Ains and Huds."

"I would give anything to hear his voice." A broken whisper came from Maura's mouth. Their first born son would have just turned eight years old. "A part of us will always be missing."

"I say this every year, but I'm so damn thankful we decided to adopt Ainsley, and give pregnancy another shot with Hudson...I couldn't imagine my life without them."

"I wouldn't want to imagine a life without them," Maura turned and wrapped her arms around Jane. "I can't imagine my life without you three in it."

"You wanna read the poem or want me to do it?" Jane listened carefully as Maura mumbled "you". She nodded and lead her wife to the lounge before disappearing and reappearing just as quick with a gold envelope in her hand. The detective cleared her throat, glanced at the Christmas tree and back down to the paper in her hands.

"To a Christmas Angel,

please catch our wish,

spread your wings and fly so high,

take it back to heaven,

your home up in the sky,

give it to our little one,

and say it's from his Mom's.

With a big hug and a kiss,

read him our message, which is this:

We miss you so much, Harper Fenway.

We think of you a lot, every single day.

We'd give the world to see you smile and play,

To hear your laughter and hold you close.

Your time on earth was heartbreakingly short,

you're always remember for the love that you brought.

Close your eyes, and hold on tight.

We send you a hug for every night.

Thank you for coming into our lives,

Thank you for keeping us safe,

Thank you for teaching us to love.

Merry Christmas our special white dove,

Our little angel who lives up above."

"Merry Christmas, Harper." Mrs and Mrs Rizzoli-Isles whispered in unison.

The poem they had written four years ago was something that only Jane and Maura knew about, and they vowed they would be the only ones to ever know about it. A special gift to give to their son every Christmas Eve while everyone else slept.

Now it was time to snuggle desperately close on the lounge with thoughts of their son before reality kicked in and the parents of an excitable five year old and one year old would have to play the rest of the night out as Santa Claus, delivering presents, eating cookies, chomping carrots, and drinking milk.

* * *

**Reviews - good and bad - are always welcome. - MT xXx**


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